Yogini’s life Upside down

Queen of Cups Time to update you…
A lot of things are happening in my life…I can’t even begin to describe how many things are going on. I wonder if that is true as there are always lot of things going on in my life but recently the turn of events have been a bit unfortunate.

Mind gone upward or less downward
At the same time it is great to see that my mind has developed a lot, as the burden of it all hasn’t produced an untidy, or unhappy mind and depression hasn’t set in either.

I rather feel great that the mind is not closed and sees more solutions and ideas to solve the challenges at hand.

Setting the Scene:
I am working on Rinchen Tsomo – the company I own – for the last almost 2 years and had some benefit & help from the state – unemployment benefit for having worked for over 12 years at a stretch – to start this company. Since February this year that benefit fell away (depends on years of working – real mathematics let loose on it). I lost a long time job in 2012 where I had spent 10 years as a customer service agent and the last two years of my tenure a Logistics coordinator.

From February – when the unemployment benefit fell away – I would actually start working with the father of my eldest son to pay me a salary and setup something for the future of our kids here in Europe. My ex – his shipping business – and I, worked on it for a while until he stopped communicating altogether and then also stopped paying, about a month ago that is.

The emotions not good not bad
I went though the motions – disbelieve, horror, paralysed by fear, some rage “he can’t do this to me, can’t do this to his son” than disbelief again. All in the span of the first one and a half week.

The Solutions I’m working on
Than some calm came over me and I realised I have to take action, now. Find a Job, look at my present finances, see how to live and pay for the house, meet other commitments, keep my company running and be happy despite of all that’s going on.

What do I have at hand…what are my strengths? I have a company, good products, what haven’t I been doing, seeing. And though it’s a process I honestly can say I’m more than coping. I am finding out I’m not stifled by my fear of failure like before. I’m seeing the wonder in fear more than before – it’s a motivator to get a wake up call and to become more of a go-getter and see opportunities and take them. All at my own pace, but more is possible when having space in your heart and mind.

Curvy High Tea
In the beginning of this process I also went to the Curvy High Tea where Lucinda Douglas (author of the book Sales is Sexy) spoke on our own internal obstructing convictions and seeing all these wonderful women chime in on this topic,helped me realise I have to wake up and I can do it. Somewhere I have to stick to the rock steady trust I have in myself and not let go.

So now you know what I’m upto. I must say I have lots of help from my Guru on many levels, but also from family, friends & peers alike.

I ‘m not just thankful, I also enjoy more and rejoice much more than before. Occasionally I do get a small sinking feeling but then I think I am the only one who will turn this around and that is a good boost which instantly improves my mood. I have faced tougher times – when I left that same ex, not surprisingly – but managed to build such a good and deserving life for my family and me. I can do this again.

Somehow I feel the universe (disguised as my ex)/my karma/ My guru (master of scene setting), have brought this opportunity to really have me wake up to the facts of my own strengths and energy

That’s it for this Saturday , but tell me how are you feeling nowadays?

Soft Kiss Radia- , The Unusual Yogini

PS: I’m very sorry but I’ll STOP TRANSLATING blogs from English to Dutch, I have simply too many things to take care of. It hampers my blog writing. Also english is the Language of my emotional/analytical/subtle mind more than Dutch is. So naturally the words flow more freely in English. If someone want to HELP ME and translate so that I hardly have to look at it on a more permanent basis you are welcome to contact me.

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